“Laaaadies and gentlemen, boys and girls. This is the one you’ve all been waiting for. The following tag team match is scheduled for 2 falls. In the first corner… coming in at a combined 0 premierships and 58 Ranking Points… it’s The People’s Champions, Nat and Shay!!!

Aaaaand in the opposite corner, coming in at a combined 3 premierships and 123 ranking points… The Elite Fat Cats!!!”

Game 1: Preliminary Final 1 (1st) Robey Dick (Gabriel) Vs (2nd) Ever Deprindables (Shay)

Stevie Steve: “We’ve got some huge matches tonight, and up first we have what many are saying is the big one.” Brucey Bruce: “The big slaughter, you mean. Shay may have finished 2nd on the ladder but this year Gabriel was so far ahead of the rest of the pack that he might as well have finished dead last.” Stevie Steve: “You may have a point here, but after Gabriel’s huge heel turn this year when he went from lovable crowd favourte to spending months whining about being handed the prestigious last pick in the draft, could the crowd have an impact on the result here? Because you know they are all rooting for the underdog.” Brucey Bruce: “Crowd shmowd. The so called ‘fans’ don’t like Gabrel because Gabriel is better than them, and just doesn’t pretend otherwise. He may have been ‘handed’ the best pick in the draft with pick 16, but without the high level of intellect that Gabriel has, pick 16 could still be wasted. Instead, he used it to full advantage and has smashed the entire competition this year. He only lost two games for the entire season. Two! And that’s how many more matches he has this year before he’s crowned champion, yet again: this one and then against Gavin in the final round (the obvious and most worth competitor. Stevie Steve: “Well I wouldn’t say it’s just that - many are saying that Gabriel reeks of corruption. Some are pointed to the fact that he only spent one year in Dirt League, and that he won under suspicious circumstances after being the commissioner in that year.” Brucey Bruce: “Dirt League?? We’re going to bring this up again? Yes okay, maybe Gabriel was heavily corrupt. But you do what you gotta do - just like Gabriel is going to do this weekend against Shay, a competitor that has the worst win/loss ratio of any of the ‘old guard’ of coaches by considerable margin. And he’s lost his best player! Even if Butters made a miraculous recovery and returned this week (which he hasn’t, and won’t) that would only turn a 400 point loss into a 300 point loss for Shay. This is going to be an absolute cakewalk for Gabe. It doesn’t matter if the crowd like it or not, they’re just going to have to get over it and get used to Sir Gabriel (that’s what he likes to be called now I hear) being back on top.

Game 2: Preliminary Final 2 (3rd) The Mod Swad-Ling (Gavin) Vs (8th) Annable Lector (Nat)

Stevie Steve: “And speaking of questionable methods, let’s move on to the other match of Nat vs Gavin. There’s also been a lot of talk about Gav using… look I don’t want to say çheating’ but certainly people are saying únfair advantage’ and ‘gaming the waiver system’ for years?” Brucey Bruce: “Again. Jealousy. This is what’s wrong with the world today. Gavin is up at the crack of dawn every single day just checking for free agents. It’s basically the SuperCoach equivlant of a single mother working 2 jobs just to feed their SuperCoach family. And don’t take my word for it, I hear Gav himself has made that comparison. And this is someone that the WOKE LEFTIST fans try to label as a ‘bad guy’? Someone who works harder than the rest of them put together? Someone who is actually ranked #1 on the overall ranking points ALREADY?” Stevie Steve: “Well it’s funny you say that, because despite being second on the ladder for most of the year, Gavin also spent the entire year saying his team was terrible, despite the fact he kept winning.” Brucey Bruce: “That’s just modesty Stevie. Something you and the unwashed masses with their insane cancel culture wouldn’t know anything about. Gavin is a true champion, but without the ego. And quite frankly it’s embarrassing to have him go up against a team that finished 8th on the ladder at the end of the year.” Stevie Steve: “Well Nat may have finished 8th but let’s not forget she eliminated both Lachlan and last year’s champion Kaan to make it to the prelim final.” Brucey Bruce: “Kaan not winning is a disgrace and everyone knows it. I hear Nat actually poisoned several of Kaan’s players, hoping to end their careers for the sake of a SuperCoach win.” Stevie Steve: “All of the injuries to Kaan’s players occurred several weeks before he played Nat.” Brucey Bruce: “That’s how women are, Stevie. You can’t trust them. They’re like snakes, always scheming. And that’s why Gavin has to be on his guard on this one. Not that he’ll need it. His team outperformed Nat’s all year, there’s nothing that Nat could possibly produce against Gavin here to walk away with a win, you can take those words to the bank.”

Stevie Steve: “Well, with those words, and the loud booing for the Elite Fat Cats drowning out the arena around us, I will wish both teams good luck and let’s get to it.” Brucey Bruce: “Nah stuff that - BOOOO NAT AND SHAY. BOOOO. UP WITH THE ELITES! UP WITH THE 1%! UP WITH SIR GABRIEL AND GAVIN! Let’s hope they never have to be embarrassed by being put up against such hopeless and lowly competitors again!!”