English:

Hello, everyone. Welcome back to Bad Juju. For this week's episode, I want to talk about something that shows up a lot in our daily interactions, but we don't always notice it clearly, which is insecurity.

I want to share how I've been understanding insecurity recently, what it actually is, how it tends to show up in the way we speak and behave, and how it can quietly shape the way we relate to other people.

Because I think a lot of the time when we feel uncomfortable in our conversation or when someone says something that feels a bit off, we immediately take it personally.

We would think, did I do something wrong? Are they judging me? Or is this about me? But more often than we realize, I think it's not really about us. It's about what's going on inside the other person. And the same thing applies to ourselves as well.

There are moments where we speak or react in ways that don't actually come from clarity, but from something more subtle like doubt, comparison, or the need to protect how we are seen.

So in this episode, I want to slow that down a little [...0.6s] and to look at what insecurity actually sounds like in everyday conversations.Like the small moments, the tone, the reactions that we usually overlook, and more importantly, how we can start to notice it, both in ourselves and in others, without turning it into a problem.

Because I don't think the goal is to eliminate insecurity completely, I think it's more about recognizing it so that we don't get pulled by it and we don't just automatically react to it.

And when we can do that, we stop taking everything personally and we start having a bit more space in the way we relate to people.

And so, yeah, that's what I want to export with you today. [...3.8s]

Let's start with a very simple question, what is insecurity? I think a lot of people hear this word and immediately associate to it something quite obvious like low confidence, self doubt, or feeling not good enough.And yes, that's definitely part of it, but I think insecurity is actually much more subtle than that.

To me, insecurity is not just a feeling, it's a kind of, let's say a internal gap.I think it's the gap between how we see ourselves and how we wish to be seen by others. And when the gap exists, we start trying to close it. Like sometimes consciously, but most of the time unconsciously. And that's when it starts showing up in our behavior.

An insecurity doesn't always look like someone being quiet or shy. Sometimes it looks like actually the opposite.Like it can look like over explaining, over sharing, showing off, or being defensive, or even constantly trying to prove something.

And I think the reason why insecurity is so common is because it comes from very basic human experiences.

And a lot of it comes from early life. Like how we were treated, what we were praised or criticized for, and what we didn't receive enough of.

For example, if someone grew up being ignored, they might develop a strong need to be seen.And if someone grew up being criticized, they might become very sensitive to judgment.

And if someone, like, if they didn't feel safe when they were growing up, they might try to control everything around them.And over time, these patterns become part of how we interact with the world. And the tricky part is we usually don't realize it's happening, right?

We just think, this is probably how I am as a human being. But in reality, a lot of our reactions are shaped by these underlying securities.