Hey, I’m Matthew.

I’m an ICU nurse, traveler, builder, real estate investor, poet, carpenter, and follower of Jesus. At least, a man trying to follow Him.

A little bit about me, even though this story ultimately isn’t about me.

I grew up all over the place. I was raised by a single mother. I have Type 1 diabetes. When I was 9 years old, I was run over by a vehicle, airlifted to a trauma center, and spent time in a full body cast lol. I moved constantly as a kid, which taught me how to adapt, but also left me searching for stability and belonging.

I built a house at 16.

Became an atheist at 17.

Became an ICU nurse at 19.

Now I’m in my mid twenties and still feel like there’s so much more to learn, build, and become.

I love poetry, MMA, boats, building things, reading, backpacking, music, guitar, the ocean, fitness, apologetics, photography, spearfishing, fishing, engines, motorcycles, trucks, and the Bible.

Over the years I’ve backpacked through multiple countries, rebuilt a sailboat, worked in intensive care, built things from scratch, created content online, lived in unconventional places, and lived experiences most people only dream about.

I live in a 40 ft boat in Los Angeles that I built. I have a car, a motorcycle, a good relationship with my friends and family, I’m healthy, and I genuinely feel like I have it all.

On the outside, a lot of things looked successful. Right? But behind the accomplishments, travel, relationships, and goals, I often found myself asking the same question:

Is this really all there is??

But the truth is that none of this has satisfied me. I genuinely don’t care about it. I mean what does having it “all” even mean?

Because if I’m being honest, none of it ever gave me what I thought it would.

I spent years believing that purpose was always somewhere ahead of me. In the next accomplishment. The next relationship. The next adventure. The next version of myself.

News flash. It’s not found there.

I mean there’s been bad times too. I’ve wrestled with loss, heartbreak, anxiety, failure, loneliness, seasons of depression, thoughts of ending my life, and times where I felt completely lost (sometimes this is still happening.) But most of this was because I was searching for all of the right things in all of the wrong places. And those experiences still taught me a lot too.

But ultimately I learned this:

Achievement doesn’t satisfy.