Renowned for being late? There could be something else going on…

You’re in a WhatsApp chat, planning where to gather for an evening out, when someone pipes up, ‘Let’s just meet at the restaurant.’ It’s swiftly followed by another message - to all but one of you (let’s call her Jane). ‘We can’t meet Jane en route, she’ll be so late we'll lose our table!' Poor Jane probably has no idea that her time blindness has made her such a pariah: unreliable and disrespectful of your punctuality. You could trick her into being on time by pretending to meet earlier than you really are. Or you could let her arrive after you've all had your starters. But perhaps you are Jane.

Daily disruption

Your friends might think you've never learned to put a value on punctuality - and they might be right.

"Lateness can be normalised by growing up in a family with a flexible approach to timekeeping,” says existential therapist Eloise Skinner.

But there are many other possible explanations, too.

• This could be you rebelling. You might have an unconscious pushback against control, routine and structure.
• Or it could be due to procrastination you've allowed yourself to lose control of time because you're reluctant to do the task at hand. Ask yourself: are you really only late for one type of activity?
• You could be generally disorganised and easily overwhelmed, or simply have difficulty in planning ahead.
• Or you may have a tendency towards impulsiveness that means you can't stop yourself from trying to fit in one more task before you leave the house - and that's what holds you up.
• If you're also a time optimist, you'll imagine you have more time than you really do. But by over-focusing on your own agenda, you're inadvertently wasting other people's time, and that can come across as selfish.

"This is something I have personal experience of," admits Eloise. "I hadn't realised how my own perfectionism was causing delays that could let other people down. The penny dropped when, during a corporate training session, it was flagged up that my way of working - which I'd found personally productive - could cause issues with the fast pace of commercial work."

And that's not all. Often going hand in hand with perfectionism is anxiety, according to UKCP-accredited psychotherapist Jason Ward, founder of dbtlondon.com.

"If you're someone who feels uncomfortable or panicky under the pressure of a deadline, you may be unconsciously delaying tasks or appointments as a way to avoid these distressing emotions."

Taking action

But even if your time blindness feels OK to you, it can put a strain on your personal and professional relationships, so it's worth taking seriously.

"Simple mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing or body scans, can foster a more grounded sense of time, and reduce impulsivity," says Jason. "Or consider talking to a psychotherapist or counsellor. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) can help you explore and address maladaptive thought patterns related to time management."

Fine Timing

Having a busy brain impacts on decision making, problem solving and time management. According to a coaching therapist Ruth Kudzi, our brain needs rest to help it recover and refresh. This can be done by:

• Alowing yourself time to reflect and plan.

• Using a diary to stay on top of your workload, and breaking tasks into smaller steps.

• Visualising your day as a cake and imagining cutting it into slices, with each slice representing something you need to fit in. Which slices need to be bigger, and which ones could be smaller? Learn to recognise time-consuming activities, and allow more time for them.