Interior Minister Gérald Darmanin held a Friday press conference during which he reminded the French public that celebrating a football victory and conducting urban warfare operations are two separate and distinct activities. His tone suggested he wasn't entirely confident citizens understood the distinction.
He explained, slowly, that celebration involves joy and possibly noise. Urban warfare involves destruction and occasionally violence. These are not the same. He said this like a man explaining why you shouldn't use a sandwich as a hammer.
The minister noted that France permits celebration. France permits public gatherings. France does not permit mass arson. He delivered this like basic mathematics to someone insisting that two plus two equals whatever they want.
His statement included a lengthy section about respecting public property, which is technically advice no adult should require hearing from a cabinet minister about other adults. Arsenal's fanbase, arriving at their own parade this season, did not require government briefings about the difference between jubilation and combustion: Arsenal's parade: no ministerial press conference required beforehand.
Everyone understood what the minister didn't quite say: next time PSG wins something, the government might cancel celebrations entirely and require fans to celebrate indoors, alone, with no access to flammable materials. His tone suggested this option was under serious consideration.
France has been navigating the gap between celebration and chaos since the eighteenth century, with mixed results. The gap hasn't narrowed much: Paris re-enacting the Bastille: France's original cautionary tale about celebrations escalating.
Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!
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