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Manuscript: The Things We Never Said
Manuscript version: The-Things-We-Never-Said-Demonstration-Manuscript(2).docx
Review date: 24 September 2026
Scope: Fiction dialogue, narrative voice, speaker distinction, attribution, subtext and dialogue presentation
Review branch: Fiction dialogue and narrative voice
Applicability: Fully applicable
Completeness: Complete supplied manuscript processed, including 39 numbered chapters and epilogue.
The manuscript uses close third-person narration through Anna Mercer. The narrative voice is observant, dry, restrained and often amused by Anna's own habits. Dialogue carries a large proportion of characterisation and emotional movement, particularly within the Mercer family.
The most important recurring speakers are Anna, Rose, Daniel, Leah, Megan and Mark. Claire, Pam Harper, Simon Varden and several school characters have smaller but functional speaking roles.
There is no sustained dialect system or code-switching pattern requiring linguistic authentication. Regional identity is conveyed lightly through setting, idiom and social context rather than phonetic spelling.
For this manuscript, effective dialogue means three things:
The manuscript succeeds at this frequently. The main weakness is not unnatural dialogue but voice convergence in the later chapters. Several characters begin sharing the same clipped, knowing, corrective wit and the same small vocabulary of recurring phrases. DV-01
The narrative voice has a related strength and weakness. Anna's dry self-awareness is distinctive, but the narration sometimes explains the significance of a conversation after the dialogue has already carried it. DV-02