It’s been a long year, but one that has been more peaceful thanks to me not writing a single round preview. And the SuperCoach Gods have rewarded my neglect by granting me a top 4 finish. And so, now to ruin it all and curse myself by writing one. I assume that’s why Gavin was requesting one anyway, knowing that he’s probably going to face me in the first week of finals.

This round has 5 games that matter and 3 absolute dead rubbers. So, sorry Chris, Gabe, Gav, Kris and Rob. Your games probably matter for you on a personal level, but since Chris can’t finish anywhere but dead last, Gabe can’t finish anywhere but first, Gav and myself can only swap between 2nd and 3rd, and Kris and Rob can’t make finals - I will ignore you all this week and focus on the games that actually matter, in a match order that I have determined to be least to most important. Maybe if you’re good you’ll get some sort of finals write up. Or I’ll lose this week and take it as a sign that I should never write one of these ever, ever, again. Enjoy.

Game 1: (12th) ALeeryFromMcCreery (Peter) Vs (6th) FARROWED!!! (Lachlan)

After flirting with the top 4 for most of the season, FARROWED!!! now finds themselves sitting 6th on the ladder, having dropped from 4th last week after a humbling defeat at the hands of Mark. Needing to win the last game and also relying on both Kaan and Brenton to lose their respective matches to regain a double chance. Fortunately, he's playing ALeeryFromMcCreery (Peter). Unfortunately, despite having objectively the most difficult run home of any team this year, ALeeryFromMcCreery is somehow sitting on 3 wins from their past 5 matches in what is already Peter's most successful season to date. Yes, instead of finishing dead last and getting -1 in the overall rankings, Peter can only finish where he is (12th) or drop a single spot and go to 13th, which still gives him 2 points. If he manages to win this week, he will get 3 points and completely nullify his past 3 failed seasons and be back on 0 points. All of this is to say, not only is Peter currently winning games, but he has a REASON to win this week. However while both teams seem capable of winning, both are also capable of being woeful, with season-low performances for both teams last week (Lachlan 116, Peter 929). Will either of them manage to bounce back this week to claim what could be a final scalp of the year?

Game 2: (5th) SharpDressdMcMahon (Brenton) Vs (11th) Darcy Parish (William)

In a world where everyone delights in seeing both Will and Brenton fail, this match will have something for everyone. Brenton on the precipice of yet another top 4 finish, and Will who had all but given up on his season last week until his team Darcy Parish summoned up a miracle win against the Imposter King Gavin. But now there is the smallest glimmer of hope for Will. All he needs to do is win this game, and hope that Mark beats Alan (or he makes up a sizeable percentage gap with Mark, if Alan wins). Oh, and also Tom has to lose to Kaan, which means Will has to barrack for his self-proclaimed nemesis. Oh and ALSO Nat has to lose to the One True Will, which means Will 2 also has to barrack for the other Will.

Brenton can still make the top 4. Will can still make finals. This match will leave us all drowning in 'IAF' honey.

Game 3: (9th) Oh LeRay? (Tom) Vs (4th) Flaaanderrrrrsssss (Kaan)

It's the battle of the people who showed up randomly in the Banter Messenger chat like 10 times this year, collectively. If Kaan wins, he finishes 4th, locking that spot out from Brenton and Lachlan, despite having given up completely on his team what feels like a month ago. If Tom wins, he might finish 8th despite lagging well behind the pack at the halfway point of the season. Unlike the previous match, there'll probably be a lot less whinging going on for us to enjoy, but this one is no less important.

Game 4: (10th) Annable Lecter (Natalie) Vs (14th) Allen Key 4 3Peat (Will)

It couldn't be scripted any better than this - to put Nat's season on the line in a do or die match up against her own brother. Rumours have already been circled about potential bribery offers that seem to have been rebuffed, but we'll need to be keeping a close eye on Allen Key 4 3Peat to check that all their best players aren't mysteriously moved to the bench before the round starts. The thing I'm not sure either of these teams have realised yet though is that Will actually does have something to play for - he's currently sitting 14th on the ladder, which based on our overall rank scoring system is equal to 1 point at the end of the season. If he drops one rank (which he very well might if he loses) he'll instead get 0. Also, a quick fun fact, Will is currently on a rotating streak, if you will, having gone L-W-L-W-L in his previous 5 matches. Which means, based solely on patterns, he's going to win this one. Anyway, there's never been a better time to use this.

Main Event: (7th) YeahNairnCnt (Mark) Vs (8th) Hakuna Mikunda (Alan)

And here it is, the most important match of the round. Two teams utterly unlike their usual self. Alan, not only outside the top 4 but potentially finishing outside the top 8 versus Mark, who hasn't made a single trade this year. And in all likelihood, the winner of this match plays finals and the loser does not. Sure, there's a chance that both COULD make finals no matter who wins, but it would rely on Tom, Nat and Will all losing their respective matches for both teams to make it. Well it's slightly more complicated to that. Basically it goes like this: If Alan loses: He needs all of Tom, Nat and Will to lose their matches. If any of them win, he drops out of the 8. If all of them win, he drops to 11th. If Mark loses: He needs all of Tom, Nat and Will to lose their matches OR win but not close the gap he currently has on their percentage (Mark 101.6, Tom 100.9, Nat 99.8, Will 97.6. Technically if any of those teams want to make the top 8, they should probably be hoping Mark wins, since Alan's percentage is not a factor due to his earlier draw against Peter. In fact if Alan hadn't have drawn against Peter, with his 3.5% percentage buffer, he likely would make finals this year no matter the result this week. So safe to say that if Alan misses the 8, it's entirely because of Peter. And Brenton thinks he's got issues with Peter... But either way, the only way to be absolutely sure of playing finals is to win this game, so prepare for some epic tantrums either way. And #MarkLateOutWatch is going to be alive and well this week too. Can Collingwood pull a surprise Naicos late out from nowhere!? Time will tell.

Good luck all.