8 years later
Okay, but that was almost ten Amber Krowen years ago now since Bethany had been freed from the Systems Alliance occupation, and some of the organizations that were part of Kaisara's plan to create the Sun Jin Empire paid for it. They spent so much on Bethany’s battle that the Alliance managed to take down several of the rebelling strongholds around the region. They were either unguarded or under-armed stations and planets. This just encouraged more groups to join Kaisara in the war effort, creating that old vicious cycle. More and more of the scattered political entities saw the counter-attacks from the Systems Alliance as too aggressive and rallied to Sun Jin Kaisara's cause.
Now the game is starting anew. For years the Sun Jin Empire was way behind in military might, but they've been quietly creating powerful weapons while the Systems Alliance wasn't taking the threat seriously enough. We were just another uprising with a protracted battle, nothing to commit large amounts of resources to, right? When the time was right the Sun Jin Empire added their newest piece to the board: the fleet. Built completely in hiding for years. The SJE's fleet rapidly became more and more advanced with remarkable breakthroughs in stealth, armor, firepower, and navigation tech. Some of these creations have never been seen before! The scientists behind them declared that these technologies the key to our counter offensive; even I didn't know about their origins. Still, any military buff could tell this advancement in naval tech was too rapid and honestly, quite suspicious.
Then there's me. I’m done. I’m through. I exist, all by myself, in this dimly lit beach house. It stands alone on miles of untouched coastline, on the outskirts of a sprawling metropolis known as Kovaru on the planet Bethany. The city's enormity often overwhelms me, but not here, not in my haven. Bethany’s solitary moon bathes the night in a peaceful soft blue light that dances on the ocean surface and seeps into my very soul.
This modest house isn't large - it doesn’t need to be. I’ve always been unnerved by too much empty space; it reminds me of rooms I once rented and left before the month was out. The essential rooms, bedroom, living area, bathroom, and kitchen, hold a comforting simplicity. My bedroom is always a mess with clothes strewn on the floor and an unmade bed that echoes an uncaring day’s end but what does that matter when I sleep on the couch, passed out with a bottle still in hand, half the time anyway.
Like now. I’m awake but still lying on that old couch, eyes following the map of cracks across the ceiling, the old wood of the cabin. The alcohol from night lingers in my system as I turn my head to gaze out at the night. It’s quiet. So quiet that I can hear the thoughts in my mind. The rhythmic sound of waves lapping at the shore and nocturnal birds singing from nearby trees are my only companions. That and the slight headache, hearing my pulse push blood through my eardrums thanks to years of hypertension.
Sometimes this quietness feels like an old friend, and sometimes like an adversary. A reminder of solitudes yet unshared. A tear escapes from my eye and trickles down my cheek - not one of sadness per se but one born out of an ache for something… more? Different? Probably just the depression. Maybe it's just the dance of moonlight over the water igniting dormant longings.
The pulsing blood flow matches the beat still ringing in my ears, I reflect on the night just past. The music was electric and it felt like I was alive for a few hours, with him. That night’s amusement. Yet after we stumbled back to my place, and I was through with him, I was again home alone. My eyes draw to the empty wine bottle that lay abandoned on the table; a few stray drops left behind from a near missed pour, another attempt to drown out the void with alcohol. Maybe I wasn't so alone after all.
I crossed my arms on the patios railing, raw and naked in the cool night, and laid the side of my head on my arms staring at the sea. This is me – in seclusion but never lonely, seeking refuge in loneliness while silently battling an ongoing struggle of my own. This is my life. Every night under a Bethany moon. Every weekend party of drunks and the soft drugs with a new bare chest to exhale my needs onto. Every morning with a Kovaru sunrise and a headache. In the familiar chaos of my room and amidst the faint murmurs of the sea. Me.
In the bowels of my dreams, the war came alive again. My time in service on Bethany and Caisteal was a dance with death, a lurking shadow never more than a step behind. Yet, few memories loomed larger than the rest. One was the day I stood before Kaisara, a warrior sculpted from legends and whispered fears, and found my life intertwined with hers forever.
That battle, it set itself apart, burned into my memory more sharply than any other. Never again during the war did I witness such mastery of skill or marvels of technology. She didn't just save my life. She drew on weapons and abilities I'd only ever heard mentioned in low voices around campfires, things most soldiers doubted were real. Elements that forged her into an invincible force on the battlefield.
It was her might that won us Bethany and we fell into step behind her, our faith blind but unwavering. Gratitude for our goddess of battle spilled from like water from an overflowing cup; yet it was tarnished by a gnawing wish. A wish that this Sun Jin Empire I had bled for wasn't borne solely out of military power's cold embrace. Another drink.
I wished for a people brought together not by mutual foes but by the beating hearts of its people; a unity that made us dependent on each other the way soldiers in a line depend on the fighter beside them, not just the cause in front of them. Despite everything, I swallowed back my disillusionment for perhaps that is what war does - it burying what I wanted beneath layers of cold realities. Another drink and another night attempting to bury my feelings in the chest fur with the warm embrace of another stranger.
That's why I fought. My home planet, Caisteal, was the neighbor of Bethany, same star system and everything, and I went to war here to stop the Systems Alliance from invading my home. Fortunately for me and my friends back home, Caisteal had negligible military value so they never attempted to move against it while occupying Bethany. They were having a hard time trying to control this planet alone. Bethany, a sprawling megacity like the System Alliance’s own Amber Krowe.
At any rate, here I am. Retired. My years as a soldier earned me numerous medals that I displayed over my mantelpiece. With retirement, I got promoted to colonel - if I still served in the Army today with that rank, I would be commanding a regiment comprising thousands of soldiers. If stationed on a ship, I'd have my own air group. I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I liked being a captain - the small team and fighting alongside my pals became a new family to me. It felt like I wouldn't experience as much action as a colonel. Instead, all the credit for what others did would go to me and that just isn't right.
The other outstanding significant memory was the gunshot that changed my life.
With a heaving sigh I reluctantly dragged myself up to a sitting position on the couch. Exhausted and head swimming from the night's debauchery. I wanted to lay there forever, anything was better than facing what I knew lay ahead of me. As I stared blankly ahead, my thoughts slowly drifted away. The loud hum of a vehicle in the distance reeled me back in with a sudden jolt. Aircraft were always flying by at this hour, so why did it feel different?
My cell phone vibrated on the table and I clenched my eyes shut with a loud ugly moan from my mouth, wishing it would stop. No one ever calls me, let alone at this time of night, or morning, or whatever it was called right now. I hesitantly opened my eyes and checked who was calling; an unknown number. Seems I had missed several of these according to the screen. I answered it.
“Hello?”